Posted by
Old Bill on Saturday, September 27, 2008 7:31:13 PM
I created this lesson plan with 9th-12th grade kids in mind (age 14-17), but it can be easily adapted to people from 8-80; read on.
As my first attention step, I wrote on the board: "HOW TO STAY___________" and addressed the class, in my most school-marmish prissy voice, 'Now, children, what can I possibly teach you in only 45 minutes that will be the most important lesson you can ever learn in your entire life, and that will benefit you every day for the rest of your life???' I then point to each word in turn with whatever pointer is available, and intone "HOW--TO--STAY--what? How to stay what?" Invariably, because they've all heard this before, someone, or even all of them, will drone out the politically correct, therefore inevitable response: 'How to stay IN SCHOOL'. Whereupon I slash the air with the pointer stick, or stamp my foot, or something equally unexpected, and give out a pained yell: "NO! NOT HOW TO STAY IN SCHOOL---SOMETHING MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT! THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN LEARN IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE---'how to stay ALIVE!!!' After all, you can't graduate if you're DEAD can you?' This always gets their attention big-time; it's the first indication they have that this sub won't be just another drone with another boring lecture which they can safely ignore; at least, they're not sure they can safely ignore.
Whereupon I write on the board, in LARGE letters, the following:
HOW TO STAY ALIVE
1)KYE
2)BAE
3)BPE
4)AST
5)ABP
Now, the mere fact that these letters are not accompanied by any explanation serves to heighten the students' curiosity, and may attract some of them even to put down their cell-phones and i-pods; some of them, anyway. I proceed to explain the five rules of survival (by the way, no one can remember more than five of any arbitrary rules, no matter how important: can you recite, in order all Ten Commandments? Moses should have advised God to leave out 5, and he would have had a better shot at actual compliance).
1) KYE---This does not stand for 'Kill Your Enemies'; it means 'Know Your Environment' Now, what should you know about your environment that will actually help you stay alive? The carbon cycle? Perhaps, but I have more immediate survival threats in mind. The first thing you should learn is where the dangers are, and where the sanctuaries are--places you can go to be safe, or at least in less danger than on the street.
First of all, learn who all the bad guys are in your neighborhood, and how to recognize them in other places where you don't know them personally. What do I mean by 'Bad Guys?' Just what you think I mean--violent, dangerous criminals. People who would be happy to hit you on the head and knock you unconscious just to steal enough cash to pay for their next dope deal, either as buyer or seller. Or just hit you for kicks--there are all kinds of Bad Guys. This means Gang Bangers for starters. You all know what they look like, how they dress and the kind of tattoos they wear--so learn to pay attention to people's appearance and stay away from the ones who might rob, rape or kill you. Avoid places where they hang out; here's a tip: you'll never find them in the library.
Next, find the places where you'll be safer, especially if some Bad Guys are chasing you. This means find out all the places that are open late at night, especially if they're open all night, and especially if they always have lots of people around. Of course, not all people are equal--well, they all have equal rights, but they're not all the same, which means you can't count on everyone to help you when you show up running and screaming because someone is chasing you trying to kill you. Find the places in your "'hood" where there are likely to be people who will actually try to protect you--people who will, and can, actually fight and save your life from some armed murderers. In other words, find all the places where there are Good Guys with guns, like security guards, gunstore owners, all night store-clerks, cab-drivers (sometimes) and above all, COPS.
Now, once you know these places of (relative) safety, what do you do if you have to run to one, with a couple of Bad Guys chasing you some night (or afternoon)? Well, first you have to get there ahead of the Bad Guys, so get plenty of exercise to build up your legs and lungs (like soccer or basketball) so you can RUN--running is 90% of self-defense. Somebody once said "War is running, both in attack and defense--when you can no longer run, you're dead." That somebody was a combat infantryman. When you get there, and you race through the door, it helps if the people inside know you---but what if they don't? How do they know you're not a Bad Guy yourself, come to rob them? Look at yourself: How do you dress? Baggy pants? T-shirt and Pendleton? Hoody zipper jacket? You look like a gang-banger yourself. Think about it.
So, when you get to a store or someplace you hope is safe, make it clear as soon as you enter you're a Good Guy: Yell something like: "The guys chasing me are gonna rob you!" or "The guys chasing me are killers! Call the cops!" This will identify you as a Good Guy, not one of the Bad Guys right behind you, and may save your life.
Next: as soon as you can, throw yourself on the floor (without hurting yourself, if possible) and try to get out of the line of fire. If the Bad Guys have guns, as they often do, and if the store-clerk or security guard has a gun (as you hope he does), there may be shooting. As Clint Eastwood once said, in the character of Police Inspector Harry Callahan in 'Dirty Harry': "I don't mind a little shooting, as long as the right people get shot." Just be sure you don't get shot. Here's a tip: to move quickly as possible while staying as low as possible, don't crawl on hands and knees: ROLL. I know it sounds weird, but it works--try it. They even teach it to soldiers in the army.
Finally I ask the kids to tell the class every place they can think of where there are usually gang-bangers hanging out, or where there's a Good Guy with a Gun on a regular basis (hint: try inside a bank; it's surprising how seldom kids realize this). Also make special note of firestations and sporting goods stores that sell guns, like Turner's or Big 5; they often have managers who have a gun available.
2)BAE---Be Alert Everywhere
Be alert? Huh? What? Did somebody say something? Who are those guys walking this way? How come they're lookin' at me like that? What's he mean, the one sayin' "Hey! Where You From?!" Is he talkin' to me? Why's he wanna know where I'm from, he don' even know who I am? Maybe he's talkin' to someone else, if I ignore 'em they'll prob'ly just walk on by....
Remember: Survival depends on Alertness. Clint Eastwood, in another excellent training film for contemporary urban living---"Fistful of Dollars" (1963) wisely observed: "We live in a world where a man's life often depends on a mere scrap of information."
I always point out to my students that even today, in an age of radar and computers, the combat pilots of every airforce in the world are still taught a rule that was invented with the very birth of aerial dogfighting by the combat fighter pilots of World War One, and this rule has remained the most important principle of survival for combat pilots--and ground soldiers too, for that matter--ever since. It's simply this: never go more than 30 seconds without looking around--all around, 360 degrees--and seeing what's there. Fighter pilots call this 'checking 6', referring to the area directly behind them as 6 o'clock. Do this all the time, in the air and on the ground, until it becomes second nature, a constant habit for life. It just may save your life.
3)BPE---Be Polite to Everyone
Naturally we should be polite to nice people, because they deserve it. And it's equally important to be polite to mean, nasty people because being polite to them may just save us a broken nose. This is especially true of gangbangers and anyone else we suspect may actually be a dangerous, violent thug. So remember: always be polite to jerks and a__holes, just as you would be to nice people; the teeth you save may be your own.
Some people think being rude or snotty to someone proves how tough they are; this is a misconception fostered by too many Hollywood movies and TV shows. Actually, all it proves is that they know how to be rude and snotty. Now, some people are such jerks that they actually deserve to receive a rude or snotty comeback to their obnoxious insulting behavior. Nevertheless, do not deliver it. Remember what I said about teeth. Dental implants are ridiculously expensive, and not covered by most medical insurance.
Now, being polite to mean people does not mean being submissive or weak. I have a friend who is a retired police officer. When he used to confront people who were determined to give him a hard time, either verbally or physically, he would explain to them, very patiently and politely, why he had to do whatever he had to do, addressing them as 'Sir' or 'Ma'am', and then he would explain that he was going to use whatever degree of force was necessary to do what he was legally required to do, and if he had to, he would arrest them, handcuff them, and take them to jail. If they assaulted him and injured him, they could be sure they would wind up in the hospital, and after being treated, they would still go to jail. He didn't say this to act tough, but simply to get them to think long enough to calm down and restrain themselves.
Most of us have it a lot easier than cops. We can simply walk away from a dangerous thug who's looking to start a fight without being derelict in our duty. All we have to do is call 911 and report what we saw; and you might want to say 'Thank you' to the next cop you see on the sidewalk.
4) AST---Always Stick Together
This happens to be the Girl Scout Motto. It's also the fundamental principal of every army in the world. The Army calls it 'tactical unit cohesion'. It means you never go anywhere alone if you can get someone else to go with you, and whenever you are with someone else, whatever happens, you face it together and fight together as a team to defend each other.
Martial arts schools teach self-defense, but are usually negligent in teaching teamwork; even such sports as football, basketball and even soccer teach men to work together as a team in combatting their oponents, as, of course, does every army in the world. The Army calls this 'small unit tactics', the Police call it 'Special Tactics' as in 'Special Weapons and Tactics'. Bad Guys call it 'gangbanging'. It is essential to survival in combat.
In an old movie---'The Wild Bunch' (1965)---William Holden, playing a gang leader, lectures his 'homies': "When you side with a a man, you stick by him--if you can't do that, you're just an animal---you're finished---if we can't do that, we're all finished." What is true for gangs, is also true for Good Guys; and as a matter of fact, it is also true for nations.
5) ABP---Always Be Prepared
"Prepared for what?" I would ask the class; "Prepared for anything." I would then explain that they should make it apoint to take classes that would teach them how to deal with any emergency: first aid, CPR, earthquake preparedness, as well as martial arts, including fencing and shooting. Since they cannot prevent Bad Guys from making physical attacks on them---as the saying goes, 'Stuff Happens'---they have to prepare themselves, physically as well as mentally and emotionally, to be able to deal with any kind of crisis before it actually happens to them. That is why the Boy Scouts adopted this as their motto. The more merit badges, the better.
5)ABP
5)ABP---